Hey, How’s It Goin?
When surrounded by a trellis of cottage cheese one must always remember to grieve on the Mountain of Solace. There is no better time than the moment just passed to do the optimal thing. Therefore your perception of perfect is forever skewed by the time-space wavy blanket thing all the smart dudes are alway on about. When you account for the lack of gravity in certain locations around the globe you find that some people simply weigh less than you and there’s nothing you can do about it as they are immovable and will not change their location no matter how kindly you assert your right to their lower gravity spot. Cruel, I know, hogging the easist weight loss plan ever – stand here and don’t move. The infomercial took off like gangbusters and within 12 seconds all the best spots were taken. They forgot to get the money upfront for the data, so the company went belly up and all the assets were handed over to the Thunder Bolt Society for disposal. I can’t believe Benjamin’s Key would ever be so useful! Everyone laughed when he couldn’t get back in his house because the thing melted into a pile of charred goo. Thankfully he accidentally left the back window open and all the parrots escaped. Or I should say thankfully he got in from the storm. Sadly all his pets were gone. Flew straight down to Florida. Their ancestors can still be found riding the left shoulder’s of the rare and difficult to spot purple flamingo. First generation made a deal with them, the rest is bird-lore history.
You need a paragraph.
Please
excuse
the
lack
of
space
in
this
transmission.
I
shall
make
up
for
it
down
thar.
Can’t you just see it? The Milky Way! The way of milk. I don’t know how the cows got all the prestige here. It is clear the turtles were in charge up until that point. Nobody wants to talk about it. I’ve interviewed thousands of people from all different fields of study and THEY ALL pretend not to know what I am talking about. I want answers, dammit! All I can say it is must be a huge story if no one is willing to talk about it.
And that my friend is how you start a conspiracy theory.
I know you’ve been waiting for that one. I wanted to sneak it in when you were least expecting it so you could feel first hand how we sucker you in. Oh yes, we. It’s world-wide. Truth simply isn’t true, my friend. It’s all conspiracies and misdirection rooted in the fundamental flaw in the universe which I shared with you earlier “There is no better time than the moment just passed to do the optimal thing”.
Everything is always just a bit off.
And there’s nothing any of us can do about it.
accept a flawed universe
it is your only chance of survival
I bid adieu.
Good Day Sir.
Good
Day
love & hugs & silver melted slugs,
~ eM +C but B’s aren’t square
p.s. all the hate mail keeps asserting that the lower gravity is, the more it pulls you in. Poppycock! Low = less. It’s simple greater-than less-than math. Even a child can draw < arrows and make number’s disappear.
p.p.s. yes, again, the crayon should stop at the E and keep away from all those pesky P’s drawing down the great and coloring up the good